Tattoos and Sakura Don't Mix
by montycrowley
Summary: Oh god. It was like a scene out of Icha Icha Paradise. Team 7 One-shot.


Disclaimer: Nope.

_Summary:_ Oh god. It was like a scene out of Icha Icha Paradise. Team 7.

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**Tattoos and Sakura Don't Mix**

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If it had been a different time, with different circumstances, Sasuke would have found their position a bit inappropriate.

"Sakura," Sasuke gritted between clenched teeth, holding her left arm down on the cushioned table, "_Stay still._"

Fear etched vividly on her face, Sakura squealed. "Nooo! You can't make me!" She squirmed viciously and the hem of her red shirt lifted slightly.

Oblivious to the peek of her toned stomach, Naruto, who currently struggling with her right arm, sent an apologetic grin her way. "Ehh…heh, Sakura-chan, don't you want to be an Anbu like us?"

"Yes! I do!" the pink-haired woman confirmed vehemently. She concentrated her strength in her legs and raised them, determined to push the boys. Before she achieved that, however, Naruto grabbed hold of one leg.

"Then _be quiet _and just _do as you're told_," Sasuke all but snarled as he grabbed her other leg, struggling to control her flailing limbs. He winced as he was rammed into the side of the table. This was more than he had bargained for.

"It'll only - take a moment and… and we - promise it won't-…hurt!" Naruto consoled, his words coming out chopped. "Whoa!" he exclaimed as he barely dodged a hazardous elbow jab aimed at his head.

"Lies!" Sakura roared, her soft lips curling over her teeth, "Naruto was screaming like a baby when he got his!" The fox-boy opened his mouth to protest but she beat him to it, "And don't try to come up with an excuse – I was the one holding you down, moron!"

Sasuke let out an insufferable growl, "It's just going to go in and then right back out – repeatedly. No big deal, stop being so difficult." He craned his head to bark at the tattoo artist, "Hurry up, we'll hold her down."

The tattoo artist let out a startled, "Eh? Oh, yes," and began to approach the thrashing trio cautiously.

"Never!!" Sakura screeched, her emerald eyes flashing in panic as the man neared.

"Naruto, get on top of her!" Sasuke ordered. He grabbed her waist, the touch of her soft, firm skin barely registering in his brain, and flipped her onto her stomach. He gave a sharp glance to his companion, who had already gotten the idea.

The whiskered-Anbu pressed his body against Sakura's back, using the combined force of gravity and his weight to combat her monstrous strength. Naruto grabbed both of her arms and held them against her back.

Sakura gasped at the new tactic. "You'll never take me!!" She wiggled violently, attempting to put as much leverage between herself and Naruto as possible.

"Sakura…stop moving," the blonde-haired man groaned and gripped the sides of the table, "I'll fall off the table!"

"What the hell are you waiting for? Hurry up!" Sasuke gestured to the man on the side as he pinned Sakura's legs.

"I...said…_NO!_" With a terrific yell, Sakura pushed Sasuke off of her legs and he fell to the ground with a surprised shout. Taking advantage of the moment, she turned her body to one side, effectively sending a stunned Naruto to the floor.

"Oh no you don't," the Uchiha snarled. He leapt on top of her, and straddled her hips. "Get her legs Naruto!"

Recovering quickly, the fox-boy scrambled to her kicking legs and grabbed them. He pressed his chest over her limbs, taking care to apply enough pressure to hold and not crush her legs.

"No no no no…you can't make me!"

"Sakura-chan, hold still, damnit!"

"Naruto, hold tightly!"

"I _am_, teme! Make sure you get her arms – you know how hard she punches!"

"_Nooooooo_…you'll never take me alive!"

"For god's sake - it's only a TATTOO!!"

Just then, the tell-tale chime of the door opening resounded, breaking the argument. Through the glass door of the small tattoo shop came Kakashi, one hand already in a waving gesture and his eyes crinkled in greeting.

"Ah, sorry I'm late, but I got lost-"

The words died in his throat when he opened his eyes to the spectacle before him.

Sasuke was currently on top of Sakura's back, face a mirror of frustration as he pinned Sakura's arms to the table. Battling to hold her jerking legs, Naruto was pressed perpendicularly against her from waist-down, his torso no doubt touching her behind as she squirmed under his hold. The two of them were red-faced and sweat beaded their foreheads from the ordeal of holding their female member down.

As the copy-ninja gaped in shock, his lone eye widened into a saucer.

Oh god.

It was like a scene out of Icha Icha Paradise.

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**A/N: **Reviews are lovely, like always.


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